enough already

an open letter to the migraine which popped up as i was getting ready for work today:
cut it out. I know you've been waiting for the perfect time to strike, but I assure you, today is not the day. I think i've dealt with enough this morning, finding out Matt died suddenly yesterday, and dealing with in game shenanigans...stoppit. just eff off.
OR, make yourself useful and help come up with ideas of stuff we can do to help out Matt's widow.

Roast Beast

Made roast beef for the first time in YEARS tonight. Probably since I was in high school. Maybe before. Came out really well, here's the recipe for posterity.

1 Eye round
1 white onion
beef stock (store bought is fine)
jane's crazy mixed up salt

rub eye round liberally with jane's. Slice onion into 8 thick half moons. put 6 on the bottom of the pan, dice up the other 2. put beef on top of onions, pour in beef stock to cover onions. sprinkle the diced onions on top of the roast, cover with tin foil and bake at 375 for 40 minutes or so. remove foil and continue roasting until the beef is browned and about 150 degrees. remove from pan, allow to rest covered with foil for at least 10 minutes, while you make the gravy (and, in our house, make the mashed potatoes!).

to make gravy, strain the onions out of the stock, putting the stock into a small sauce pan. dissolve some gravy flour into beef stock or cold water (stock is better) and add to the hot stock and drippings. cook until thickened. done!

Omnivore's dilemma...

Here’s what I want you to do:

1) Copy this list into your blog or journal, including these instructions.
2) Bold all the items you’ve eaten.
3) italicize any items that you would never consider eating.

The VGT Omnivore’s Hundred:

1. Venison
2. Nettle tea
3. Huevos Rancheros
4. Steak Tartare
5. Crocodile
6. Black pudding
7. Cheese fondue
8. Carp
9.Borscht
10.Baba Gahnoush
11. Calamari
12. Pho
13.PB&J Sandwich
14. Aloo Gobi
15. Hot dog from a street cart
16. Epoisses
17. Black truffle
18. Fruit wine made from something other than grapes
19. Steamed pork buns
20. Pistachio ice cream
21. Heirloom Tomatoes
22. Fresh wild berries
23. Foie Gras
24. Rice and beans
25. Brawn, or head cheese
26. Raw Scotch Bonnet pepper
27. Dulce de leche
28. Oysters
29. Baklava
30. Bagna Cauda
31. Wasabi peas
32. Clam chowder in a sourdough bowl
33. Salted lassi
34. Sauerkraut
35. Root beer float
36. Cognac with a fat cigar
37. Clotted cream tea
38. Vodka jelly/Jell-O
39. Gumbo
40. Oxtail
41. Curried goat
42. Whole insects
43. Phaal
44. Goat’s milk
45. Malt whisky from a bottle worth £60/$120 or more
46. Fugu
47. Chicken Tikka Masala
48. Eel
49. Krispy Kreme original glazed doughnut
50. Sea urchin
51. Prickly Pear
52. Umeboshi
53. Abalone
54. Paneer
55. McDonald’s Big Mac Meal
56. Spaetzle
57. Dirty gin martini
58. Beer above 8% ABV
59. Poutine
60. Carob chips
61. S'mores
62. Sweetbreads
63. Kaolin
64. Currywurst
65. Durian
66. Frogs’ legs
67. Beignets, churros, elephant ears or funnel cake
68. Haggins
69. Fried plantain
70. Chitterlings, or andouillette
71. Gazpacho
72. Caviar and blini
73. Louche absinthe
74. Gjetost, or brunost
75. Roadkill
76. Baijiu
77. Hostess Fruit Pie
78. Snail
79. lapsang souchong
80. bellini
81. tom yum
82. eggs benedict
83. pocky
84. Tasting menu at a three-Michelin-star restaurant.
85. kobe beef
86. Hare
87. goulash
88. flowers
89. Horse
90. Criollo chocolate
91. Spam
92. soft shell crab
93. Rose harissa
94. Catfish
95. mole poblano
96. Bagel and lox
97. lobster thermidor
98. polenta
99. Jamaican blue mountain coffee
100. Snake

turkey lurkey doo...

so I can't forget it for next year, here's this years turkey recipe!

Brine:
Kosher salt
2 bay leaves
1 can chicken stock
brown sugar
maple syrup (the real shit, not the fake corn syrup stuff)

dissolve everything in hot water in the bottom of a cooler. I usually do this with the cooler sitting right in the bathtub. If you're going to do this, warn the other inhabitants of your house that the shower will be out of commission for 24 hours or so...

Add cold water and ice, enough to make the water very cold, and add the turkey. close the lid and leave it alone! I usually check the ice right before bed, add more if needed, and call it a night.

Next morning, drain the turkey, and rub with:
1 stick softened unsalted butter
kosher salt
dried thyme
dried sage
cracked pepper

rub under the skin, in the cavity, and outside the skin.

bake at 425 for 40 minutes, then 375 for an hour and a half or so, covered with tinfoil. (note, this is all for a 12 lb turkey)

let rest for about 20 minutes, or until you've finished the sides that you couldn't be bothered doing earlier because you were too busy stuffing your face and watching movies.

one fish, two fish...

baked stuffed fish! (and there's way more than 2 kinds of seafood involved here...which is part of what makes it so damned good. Almost nothing remotely healthy about the stuff, but who gives a damn!)

Enter, dad's baked stuffed fish recipe, immortalized for all time on the intarwebs. And seriously, this shit's GOOD. He came up with the recipe basically by himself, with a little help from me, which makes it even more impressive, given the fact that he almost NEVER cooked unless it involved fire or clubbing a fish to death on the side of the boat when i was a kid...so. here' goes:

Stuffing:
1 can cream of celery soup
2 sleeves ritz crackers, smashed within an inch of their buttery, flaky little lives
1/2# crabmeat (frozen is fine, imitation is NOT)
1/2#scallops, cut up into smallish pieces
1/2# shrimp, cut into smallish pieces (I usually use native Maine shrimp..the teeny guys usually used in popcorn shrimp)
1 stick butter, melted
parsley (if you want/remember)
garlic powder
onion powder
(these last 2 are to taste...i usually use a quarter teaspoon each or so...As for the garlic, dad and I have discussed the merits of using the new Ritz garlic and butter crackers, but so far have stuck with the original)

Mix everything together (I usually just dive in with both hands...works best. Oh, but put your fish in the baking pan first, then you can just scoop the filling right on top!)
As for the fish, I usually go for whichever sturdy white fish is on sale (9 times out of 10, it's haddock. you can use cod if you want, I just always use haddock...I tend to have it on hand for chowder most of the time anyway, so...), about a pound to a pound and a half of it, depending on how many people you're trying to feed...
Place the fish in the bottom of a baking dish, scoop the stuffing on top. Yes, you'll notice there's a hell of a lot more stuffing than fish. that's the plan. All of this will fit rather nicely in an 8x8 baking pan. Bake covered at 350 for about 40 minutes, then uncovered for another 15-20 or so. the boy likes it paired with some steamed broccoli, I like it with a little salad. Either way, delicious!

non-dairy potato leek soup

so after going to the last Portsmouth farmer's market of the year, I was struck by a craving for potato leek soup. I can't ever have it without making it myself, because most places put milk or heavy cream in it, and dairy and I just aren't friends. So I bought some potatoes and leeks, and made my own. It's a riff off of a friend from high school's mother's AMAZING potato leek soup...it's nothing close to hers, but tasty nonetheless, with good texture and flavor. here it is!

2 smallish leeks, washed and cut into half moons (thin-ish)
2T unsalted butter
1lb white potatoes, cut into half moons (skin on) (again, thin-ish)
1 1/2c water
2c chicken stock (you can use vegetable to go vegetarian with this)
salt and pepper to taste

soften the leeks in the butter, let them caramelize a teeny bit. add water and stock, let come back up to heat, add potatoes (it was just over 4 cups sliced, all told). Allow to simmer until potatoes are soft. Take the potato masher to the whole mess, and slightly break up the potatoes. Then beat the tar out of about a cup and a half of the potatoes. Add the mashed potato mixture back to the pot, stir. Add salt and pepper. Voila! non-dairy potato leek soup! I like mine kind of chunky, so i didn't smash the potatoes too much. if you like it smoother, puree or just smash more!

recently heard at home...

while discussing the fact that my beloved UMass minutemen TROUNCED Providence College in hockey this weekend...

me: UMass TOTALLY had their number this weekend!
him: If they had their number, they should have called them and told them to show up for the game!

*sigh* and that's why I love him!